Emergency Leave website Button




 


On every page on this site, in this spot there is an escape button.This button when clicked, will immediately take you away from this website and will lead to a Google search for "weather". Please use this button if you must close this website quickly, for example if someone whom you would prefer not to see you on this site, walks into the room.


Unless you delete your web history,
 a computer-savvy person will still be able to see that you have visited this site - even if you close this webpage.

 

For instructions on how to delete your history please read:

Deleting Your Web History


If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. 


Click above for this app
App is courtesy of When Georgia Smiled

ABUSE

NO ONE deserves to be abused, and the only person responsible for the abuse is the ABUSER!

 

Abusers almost always blame their victims for the abuse and try to convince their victims that the abuse is actually their fault. Nothing could be further from the truth! Sadly, though, abusers usually succeed in convincing victims to blame themselves. The abusers will say things like, “If you hadn’t done this, then I wouldn’t have had to hit you.”  The abusers will also remind the victims that they “love” them and didn’t want to hurt them. The victims believe this and begin trying to change their behaviors to become the perfect partner and to follow their abuser’s rules. They work tirelessly to try to please the abuser. Supper is always ready on time. The children are always bathed and in their beds on time.  Every possible effort is made to please the abuser and become the perfect partner. The victims focus virtually all of their energy into conforming to the ever-growing list of do’s and don’ts as they desperately try to spare themselves from a future blow or the next verbally abusive ranting. However, since the abuse WAS NOT THE VICTIM'S FAULT in the first place, the efforts of victims to please their abusers are useless in preventing future abuse. The abusers will virtually always find some new complaint to point out as a new “fault” of the victim and will once again blame the victim for the next act of abuse.

It is not the victims’ actions or behaviors that trigger the abuse!  
Therefore, the victims’ changes in actions and behaviors cannot and will not stop future abuse!

To the right are links to several pages explaining what abuse is and how you or a loved one can get out of an abusive relationship.  You will also find a link for a short quiz to help you or a loved one determine if a relationship is abusive.  Also, there are links to help you or a loved one create a plan to escape the abusive relationship.  Remember, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE!

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN INDIANA
• In a single day in 2014, Indiana domestic violence programs served 1,807 victims/survivors.i
• On that same day, there were 182 requests for services that went unmet due to a lack of resources.ii
• Between July 1, 2013 and June 30, 2014, 67 Indians died in domestic violence homicides.iii
• Over half of domestic violence homicides in Indiana are committed with a gun.iv

DID YOU KNOW?
• 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the United States have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.v
• On a typical day, domestic violence hotlines receive approximately 21,000 calls, an average of close to 15 calls every minute.vi
• Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime.vii
• The presence of a gun in the home during a domestic violence incident increases the risk of homicide by at least 500%.viii
• 72% of all murder-suicides involved an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these crimes are female.ix

How Can I Get Out of an Abusive Relationship?

It is vital that you make careful plans ahead of time if you are planning to escape an abusive and/or violent relationship!  Having a well thought-out escape plan can mean the difference between escaping successfully and avoiding a beating or horrible injury.  If possible, ask a friend or call an advocate against domestic abuse to help you with this important process.

It is important to get out of a violent and abusive relationship!  You must realize, though, that there is elevated danger for serious injury when you attempt to leave your batterer.  Planning ahead is critical in keeping you and your children safe! 

Here are some helpful suggestions:
  1. * Establish and hide a second set of car keys, house keys, or other important keys.
  2. * Create a hidden “emergency” fund; save even a dollar or two per week if possible.
  3. * Fill and hide a suitcase, if possible, with a couple of changes of clothes for you and your children. 
    * Keep the suitcase in its normal storage area in your home or give it to a trusted friend or relative.  Also include a list of important phone numbers and important legal papers in the suitcase such as birth certificates, social security cards, custody papers, protective orders, medical information, marriage license, bank account information, etc.  Make copies and leave originals in normal files if possible.
  4. * If you cannot pack a suitcase, fill a specific dresser drawer or box with the items listed above and conceal safely.  DO NOT OVERPACK!  Your partner is much more likely to notice if several items are not in their usual places.
  5. * Develop a phone back-up plan.  Sometimes an angry batterer will throw or confiscate your cell phone leaving you without a way a calling for help.  To protect yourself in case this happens, purchase an inexpensive “pay as you go” cell phone or save several quarters (for use in pay phones) and hide with the phone or quarters with your suitcase items.
  6. * If you or your children take medicine regularly, include a few pills and try to save an old prescription bottle if possible to pack in your suitcase.
  7. * Develop a plan for calling for help.  If you have children, teach them to dial 911 in an emergency, and tell them they can run to a neighbor’s house if they can’t get to a phone or are fearful for their safety.  If you trust one of your neighbors, try to develop a signal system so that they may know if you need help. 


Call for help if you need it!  You may be able to confide in a friend or relative who can help you with the logistics of getting you and your children out safely, or you can call 911 or a domestic violence shelter advocate.

New Directions is here to help you!  Call our 24-hour crisis line any time of the night or day at (812) 662-8822 or call 911 if you are in current danger.